It feels strange to visit my grandmother. To see her getting worse. It feels awkward asking her how she is. Obviously, how will a person, that has always been independent,  feel knowing that she will not get better.
I wonder than if the medicine really has improved? What is the point of longer life when the person is completely bound to the bed. Of course I find that medicine has improved,  but seeing my grandmother like this still makes me wonder if it is human to prolong a persons life at any cost. For the  the beloved ones, obviously, we want our grandmother to live as long as possible, but hearing my grandmother say with tired voice “the doctors do not even allow me to die”, then I start to wonder…
After the visit I come home and see the children jump around and scream of laughter this beautiful day.
Life is truely a weird thing…Cudan je to osjecaj otici kod majke. Vidjeti kako je sve losija i kako polako propada. Cudan je osjecaj pitati je kako se osjeca. Mislim, kako ce se osjecati osoba koja je uvijek bila neovisna i veliki radnik a sada lezi u krevetu? Ne moze sjesti sama a kamoli da uradi nesto drugo. I najgore je sto zna da nece biti bolja. Da li je danasnja medicina onda stvarno napredovala? U sebi mislim – “naravno da jeste”. Ali kad pocnem razmisljati malo upitam se da li je stvarno  humano produzivati zivot nekome ako je ta osoba osudjena da bude u krevetu i da u biti nista ne radi bez ikakve mogucnost ka poboljsanju? Naravno mi bi htjeli da nam majka bude sto duze ziva, ali kad cujem majku kako kaze- “ovdje doktori ne daju ni umrijeti” onda se upitam… I onda dodjem kuci i vidim djecu kako veselo skacu u jednom prelijepom danu i pomislim cudan li je ovaj zivot…