“Duda” i par misli / “Duda” (pacifier) and a couple of thoughts

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Danas je Adrian prvi put uspio reci Duda.
Inace nije bas pričljiv.Čak neće ni mama da kaže, samo ako je mnogo mnogo gladan. Tu su tata i Ada puno popularniji. Kad počne pričati dadadada, nisam sigurna da li zove tatu što je dadada, ili Adu što je adadada.
Uglavnom, je neki dan uspio da stoji par sekundi bez pomoći. I tako gledajući njega nešto mi pade na pamet.
Gledam Adrijana i vidim kako djeca nemaju nikakva očekivanja kako šta treba biti. Kao što je jedan prijatelj ispričao kako su imali problem na poslu za kojeg su svi znali da je nerješiv i zato se niko nije ni potrudio da ga riješi…dok nije novi došao u firmi i neznajući da je problem nerješiv …..riješi ga.
Ja to gledam ovako… dijete kad treba naučiti hodati ono uporno satima i satima vježba puže, pada, plače i kad se malo isplače  digne se kao da ništa nije bilo i uporno nastavi. Ponekad dođe mami i tati da dobije malo motivacije i sigurnost kad više nikako ne ide, ali vrlo brzo nastavi svojim upornim putem…
Roditelj milion puta kaže nemoj tu, pašćeš, udarićeš se , opržićeš se itd… da li ste IKAD vidjeli da malo dijete odraslu osobu posluša? I ne samo to zamislite se DA ga posluša…kad bi to dijete naučilo hodati? Sa 10 godina najvjerovatnije.
Da li ste ikad vidjeli onaj pravi istinski osmjeh djeteta koje je upravo skontalo da samo stoji? Ne može se platiti! Zato su djeca vjerovatno uvijek i vesela i to od srca vesela.
Zamisli da smo mi odrasli takvi?
Da  kad hoćemo nešto da postignemo satima “pužemo, hiljadu puta padamo, plaćemo i na kraju i uspijemo?
Da ne slušamo  ikoga, da ne tražimo podršku od ikoga i da “guramo” dok ne uspijemo.
Pitanje je zašto nisu odrasli takvi?  Postanemo lijeni, demotivisani, bez elana… ali ZAŠTO?
Ko nas “napravi” lijenim?
Je li to škola? Tamo strpaju djecu za klupu i satima predaju  nešto.
Da li su  to roditelji?  Komšije? Da li su to možda naši prijatelji?
Samim tim što se obično među onima što su otvorili firme kaže da je najgore slušati roditelje i prijatelje možemo shvatiti koliko je to ustvari bitno pitanje. A drugo bitno pitanje je kako to izbjeći?
Naravno sam(a) od sebe moraš početi …da li si ti ta osoba koja demotiviše ili motiviše svoju okolinu? I ako jesi kako i zašto si takva osoba…..Bilo bi to interesantno sa jednom pravom studijom taj fenomen istražiti…(možda i jeste, ali ne znam 🙂
Today, Adrian managed to say “Duda” (pacifier) for the first time. He is not as talkative as Ada. He doesn’t even want to say mama unless he is very very hungry. (Dad and Ada are much more popular in that case. When he says “dadadada” I am never sure if he calls Ada, adadada, or dad (tata, pappa) “dadadada”…)
A couple of days ago he even managed to stand alone for a couple of seconds. Looking at him I got struck by a thought.
Watching him I noticed how children don’t have any expectations of how things should be. As a friend told a story about a problem at his work. They had a problem that everyone knew was insolvable. Then there came a new guy that didn’t know this so he solved the “unsolvable” problem.
I see it like following… when the child learns to walk it practice for hours and hours. They crawl, they fall , they whine, after whining a little bit they just continue like nothing has happened.
If necessary, when it feels this is it,  the child comes to the mother or father gets a little bit comfort, maybe a little bit motivation and then it just continues to practice. The child just continues the hard ambitious way of practice.
Parents tell the children a million times don’t do this, you will hurt yourself, you’ll burn yourself, you will fall etc… BUT have you ever seen a child actually listen to the parent? If it would listen to us, the child would probably never learn to walk. Or it would be 10 years old.
Have you ever noticed a childs honest deep laught when it first realize that it actually stands by itself? It is priceless! Probably, they experience this for every developmental step they reach.
I guess, that is the reason why children always are happy.
Imagine that the grown ups where like this?
That when we really want to achieve something that we “ crawl, fall a thousand times, cry and in the end reach our goal…
Imagine that the grown ups didn’t listen to anyone, didn’t look for anyone to boost /support them and that we just continue the way we wanted until we reach our goal.
Would we be more happy?
I wonder why we give up our dreams? We become lazy, demotivated, deprived of energy…but  why?
What / who makes us lazy?
Is it the school? We put the children there to sit for hours.
Is it the parents? The neighbours? Our friends?
It is funny that when starting a new business it is said don’t listen to friends and family. So these questions are quite important and intresting.
A second question would be how do we avoid it?
Of course, like a child, one has to start with yourself..are you the person motivating or demotivating your environment? Why are you such a person?…
It would be interesting to read a real study of this phenomena..
Over and good bye!

 

 

 

 

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