Today was quite a big day for my little girl. She had her first professional hair cut at Rufs&Kalufs in Stockholm!! . Ada was great! No screaming, no fighting she was just so tired that was falling asleep in my arms. What more can one ask 😀
Danas je mojoj kcerki bio vazan dan. Prvi put je bila kod frizerke u Rufs&Kalufs u Stokholmu. Bila je super! Nije bilo vristanja niti svadjanja.Jednostavno je bila je toliko umorna da je dok sam je drzala u rukama zaspijevala. Sta se vise moze traziti od nje 😀
parenting/ roditeljstvo
Why some families are strong and others not! / Zasto su neke familije jake a neke ne!
Reading the news I stumbled upon this. Princess Madeleine has come to visit her sister the crown princess Victoria. Victoria will give birth any moment now. Last time when Viktoria got a baby, Madeleine was in New York and she did not arrive to see the baby that day when the little princess was born. It took the “whole” six days for Madeleine to come from New York to see her niece and this was considered a HUGE scandal. All the newspapers wrote about it. Is the royal family dissoluting? WHAT is wrong in the family? What kind of arrogance was that when she didn´t arrive immidiately etc.
Victoria had her birthday: Another “scandal” rose. Her sister did not come to her birthday. She was in New York. In all newspapers and social media is it written. Again the same story. What is that? Is the royal family falling apart? Etc.
Reflecting upon this phenomena I came to some conclusions. In rich and strong families… if the brother / sister or close relatives / cousin do not come to the wedding it is looked upon like a disastrous scandal. It is immediately written about in the newspaper, social media etc. This option- NOT to come, simply does not exist in strong families. There is no excuse and no reason. One has to plan the time. Find out a way how to come to the wedding. The (un)written rules are very well known! And if you do not follow these rules, everyone in the family and the world will know about it and it will hang around for years. Wealthy families will “raise” their youth to not even consider the idea not to come to the particular wedding. Whatever reason they would have. Therefore, these families rule the world and are strong for many generations which able them to achieve estates, power and respect from other people.
The “average” family, on the other hand, fall apart that moment when the two get married. I’ve never seen that these two families really, practically get united in such a way that the customs on both sides are followed. I can even state that these young “newly connected” families actually break up the old customs, because old customs get ignored and are not longer followed…because of her or him. We do not go to birthdays of relatives because we have “other things” to do. Weddings are not attended to because of different reasons like money, time, not sufficient “value” or closeness to the couple. .
We do not visit when babys are born because the tickets are expensive, we have a job (the job is always the most important) and so on.
We do not visit the oldest family members for Eid / Christmas because we have “no time”.
We don´t visit old grandmothers / grandpas because they are “boring” and it is more fun to travel the world.
Old customs are simply not followed. And that is the reason why some families never will have a strong spine and integrity.
The worst thing is that people of these average families believe that this behavior is normal and that they do not lose anything with this (except time). But the fact is that this is just a sign that we are incompetent! Whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not! We are simply unable to plan relevant life events because we do not put any value into the family.:
Think about following:
- How many times per year is a birthday?
- How many times do we have weddings? For the marriages we get the dates in time long time before. So what reason do we have that we do not come?
- How many times are children born? Why cannot we then come to see the child immediately and not after a month or two…or a year
Eid or Christmas are not every week so how come that we cannot plan to visit the oldest family member this one time? No matter if it is the family of the husband or the wife. - How will our children know its aunt, uncle or cousin if we ” the older ones” do not teach them the custom to meet each other? Even if they live far away from each other? We have to teach them that no matter if they want it or not, no matter if we “feel for it or not?
Seriously, we should all be ashamed if we missed even one birthday, birth etc. of our closest family. We can say what we want but it is not ok because we do hurt people doing it by not giving them high priority! It is the wrong way of saving money or vacation days. Nothing should be more important than that. Neither our jobs nor anything else.
So, why are some strong families and some do not?
Because strong families:
- Follow the events of life and not just deaths
- Funerals are not the only place they meet
- They teach their children to know exactly who and what their relatives are and teach them that they can call / meet the relatives no matter where in the world they are.
- They teach their children to know the extended family. For example, in the case of opening a new business they can have great support be it with money knowledge, because there is always someone knowing things you need.
- They will never have a problem to educate their children. They know that children are not born 18 years old. They plan the time and money so their young can get educated. In that way they avoid cases that a child cannot get educated because of the financial situation of its family… when there are 50 working people in the extended family.
- They see their relatives as a network and you never know who, when and why they can be needed
- They plan – not always because they want to, but for the benefit of the family. There is always a way to meet at least once a year.. If not once a year then every second and they have NO excuses to avoid it.
- They do not give in to any “newcomers in the family” to break the families old customs in your family. Especially if no new better customs are introduced. Newcomers are “assimilated” into the family and “learn” that they have to come to the important events. Not like it usually turns out that even family one was meeting previously, we stop meeting because of different reasons of the spouse. Imagine getting married in the royal family. Do you honestly think that you could avoid some things only because you do not feel for it, because you do not like a person or you do not have time?
- Everyone in the strong family follow ALL these things without exceptions or excuses.
Unfortunately this knowledge came to my mind very late so for this year I cannot expect everyone to come to Ada´s birthday. But this time you have one year to plan. Because one thing is on us teach our children and that is teach them to meet their (extended) families because they can never know what future brings on to us.
Citam novine. Princeza Madeleine je dosla svojoj sestri prestolonasljednici Viktoriji u posjetu. Viktorija treba svaki tren da rodi. Prosli put kad je rodila Madeleine je bila u New Yorku i nije bila tu tog dana kad se mala princeza rodila. To je bio skandal velikim slovima. Jer je trebalo “citavih” sest dana da dodje iz New Yorka da vidi svoju necakinju. U svim novinama je o tome pisalo. Raspada se kraljevska porodica! STA to nije u redu?? Kakav je to bezobrazluk da se nije stvorila tu odmah??? Itd.
Viktorijin rodjendan bijase: Isto tako skandal nastade.Sestra joj nije dosla na rodjendan. Bila je u New Yorku. U svim novinama i socijalnim medijama je to pisalo. Opet ista prica. Kakav je to nacin? Stoje li stvari kako treba u familiji? ITd.
Razmislila sam malo o tom fenomenu i dosla do par zakljucaka. Kod bogatih familija (pa da se ne kaze skoro klanova) da na jednoj svadbi ne dodje brat/ sestra ili blizi rodjak/rodica je apsolutni skandal koji se odmah po novinama pise. Ta opcija da NE dodjes jednostavno ne postoji. Nema izgovora i nema razloga da ne dodjes. Ima da isplaniras to vrijeme. Nadji rjesenje kako ces doci . Zna se red! I ako ga ne pratis svako ce znati za to i to godinama. Bogataske familije ce svoju djecu”odgojiti” da im ne padne na pamet da uopste razmisljaju o tome da ne mogu doci. Ma koji god bio razlog. Zato te porodice vladaju svijetom i zato su generacijama postigla imanja, moc i respekt okoline.
“Prosjecne” porodice se ne ujedine kad se vjencaju dvoje mladi. Naprotiv! Nikad jos nisam vidjela da su se dvije familije ujedinile u tom smislu da su obicaji sa obe strane prihvaceni i praceni. Smatram cak sto vise da se familije mladih rasture jer i ono sto se do sad pratilo se vise ne prati. Ne dolazi se na rodjendane jer se ima “drugog posla”. Ne ide se na svadbe jer se nema novca/nema vremena ili se smatra da nije dovoljno vrijedan/ vrijedna da se potrudis doci .
Ne dolazi se kad se dijete rodi jer se radi (posao je uvijek najbitniji).
Ne ide se najstarijem kad je bajram / bozic jer nemas vremena.
Ne ide se kod stare majke / dida jer su “dosadni” itd.
Nikakav se red ne prati. I zato takve prosjecne familije nikad nece imati jaka ledja i integritet. Najgore je sto ljudi ti prosjecnih porodica misle da je to normalno i da nista ne gube sa tim (osim mozda vremena). Ali cinjenica je da je to samo znak da smo nesposobni! Htjeli mi to sami sebi priznati ili ne! Jednostavno smo nesposobni isplanirati bitne zivotne dogadjaje jer ne vrijednujemo svoju porodicu.
Razmislite:
- Koliko je puta rodjendan godisnje?
- Koliko puta su svadbe? Za svadbu se na vrijeme sazna, znaci koji je razlog da se ne stvore svi koji trebaju tu?
- Koliko se to puta djeca radjaju?
- I je li to svake sedmice bajram/ bozic da se ne moze otici kod najstarijeg u familiji taj jedan put godisnje kad bude? Koje god familije da bude (muzeve ili zenine).
- Kako ce moje dijete znati ko je njoj tetka, stric ili rodica ako mi “stariji” ne uvedemo red da se vidjaju, htjeli oni ili ne- dalo se to nama ili ne, pa makar jedno zivjelo na Plutu a drugo na Marsu.
Treba nas sve biti sramota ako smo samo jednom promasili rodjendan, rodjenje itd. nasih najblizi jer mozemo mi pricati sta god hocemo. Ali cinjenica je ta da mi kad ne dodjemo u neku ruku uvrijedimo tu nasu najblizu osobu sto nismo dosli, jer nismo je prioritirali. A to NIJE u redu. I ne treba na tom trosku da se stedi. Ne smije nista da bude bitnije od toga. Niti posao, niti odmor, niti sta drugo.
Znaci, zasto su neke familije jake a neke ne?
- Zato sto prate zivotne dogadjaje a ne samo smrtne slucajeve!
- Zato sto se ne srecu samo na sahranama/ dzenazama
- Zato sto uce svoju djecu da znaju dobro ko im je rodbina da u svakom momentu mogu da se jave rodbini gdje god u svijetu bili.
- Zato sto uce svoju djecu da vrlo dobro znaju ko je sta i s cime se bavi u siroj rodbini. Tako u slucaju otvaranje npr. novog biznisa vec imaju veliku podrsku bilo to novcano ili znanstveno
- Zato sto im nikad nece biti problem skolovati svoju djecu jer znaju da se djeca ne rode sa 18g. Nego na vrijeme planiraju nacin kako da svoje mlade skoluju da ne dodje do slucaja da se necije dijete ne moze skolovati zato sto nema love… a bliza familija se sastoji od 50 ljudi koji rade
- Zato sto svoju rodbinu gledaju kao jednu kontakt mrezu za koju nikad ne znas ko, kad i zbog cega ce ti trebati.
- Zato sto planiraju – ne uvijek ceifom nego zbog korist familije. UVIJEK se moze nacin da se barem jednom godisnje svi sretnu. Pa ako ne moze jednom godisnje moze se svake druge godine sresti. BEZ izgovora.
- Zato sto ne daju ni jednoj “novodoslici” da rasturi svoje stare tradijicije svoje familije, pogotovo ako ne uvede neku novu bolju. Ergo novodoslice u familiji se “asimiliraju” i nauce da i oni dolaze na bitne dogadjaje a ne kako to kod nas biva i ono sto se posjecivalo prestane se posjecivati jer se muzu /zeni “ne da” ili ima neki drugi razlog. Zamislite da se vjencate u kraljevsku porodicu. Mislite li vi stvarno da bi mogli sjediti kod kuce zato sto vam se “ne da” ici , ili sto ne volite osobu ili sto “nemate vremena za nesto”? Malo sutra bi to mogli uraditi.
- Zato sto SVI u jakoj familiji prate sve ove tacke bez iznimaka ili izgovora.
Nazalost ove spoznaje su mi kasno dosle u glavu pa ne mogu ove godine traziti da svi dodju na rodjendan Ade naprimjer. Ali za iduci rodjendan imate godinu dana za planiranje. Jer jedno je ipak na nama a to je da naucimo djecu da se srecu jer ne znamo sta buducnost nosi.
Slow(E)mergency / Hitna
The weekend started bad with Ada getting fever. I had given her pills for reducing the fever but nothing happened because in Germany I had gotten homeopatic (?)suppositories for Ada. Honestly, who gives homeopathic suppositories to children? I didn´t even know that existed. The fever didn´t descend (so much for the placebo effect) and Ada was in pain so I decided to go to the emergency or better said “Slowmergency”.
At Astrid Lindgrens hospital , I came to some kind of receptionist- a nurse doing the check up of of your child. Measuring the fever, asking all the necessary questions and so on. Then she sends you to the cashier. There is no waiting time there. You get ripped off in a second and then comes the waitiiiiiing.
First round of waiting was one hour that followed by a check up of the fever. In meantime we counted the children in the room. There were 10 children. After an hour of waiting I asked the nurse when it is our turn, because while waiting not a single child had been checked up on. I was trying to keep myself civilized but I was already quite annoyed. She said (very calm which was even more annoying) it will take a couple of hours and the child that had been waiting the longest time not meeting a doctor had been there since 20h!! It was 00.30h when she said that.
How can a rich country like Sweden let children suffer unecessarily?
There is something seriously wrong in the system when 10 children (not 100) wait for hours in the emergency? Luckily, there had been no accident or so but most of the children had only the flu and fever.
For me and Ada the visit ended when Ada´s temperature normalized and I decided to take Ada home. So in the end I waited for almost 2 hrs, I did not meet or even see any doctor BUT I paid for the emergency “care”. Still I felt happy to eave that place with Ada.
Vikend je lose poceo jer je Ada dobila temperature. Dala sam joj cepice medjutim nista se nije desilo jer su mi u Njemackoj dali homeopatske cepice za Adu. Poludila sam. Ko daje homeopatske cepice djeci? Nisam znala ni da postoje. Naravno, temperatura se nije smanjila (toliko o placebo efektu) i odvela sam zato Adu u hitnu.
U Astrid Lindgren bolnici prvo dodjes na recepciju gdje jedna medicinska sestrica provjeri temperaturu i postavlja pitanja o djetetu. Poslije toga te posalje na kasu da platis. Tu su brzi. U sekundi te opljackaju i onda te stave na cekanju… koja traje citavu vjecnost. Prvo smo trebali cekati da vidimo ako se Adina temperatura smirila. U medjuvremenu smo prebrojali koliko je djece u Sali. Bilo ih je 10. Nakon sat smo pitali sestricu kad je nas red, jer za tih sat vremena ni jedno jedino dijete nije bilo pozvano. Vec sam bila iznervirana. A sestrica mi je mirno (ali mene je to tako iritiralo) rekla da cemo trebati cekati par sati a dijete koje je najduze cekalo a da nije srelo doktora je cekalo od 20h. Vec je bilo 00.30h kad mi je to rekla. Jadno dijete.
Kako moze jedna bogata drzava poput Svedske da pusti da joj se djeca bezpotrebno pate?
Nesto nije u redu sa sistemom kad doktori nisu u stanju desetora djece (a ne 100) za pet sati da pregledaju.Srecom, nije bilo nikakvi nesreca nego su to bila vecinom djeca sa gripom.
Za Adu i mene je posjeta u „hitnoj“ zavrsila kad sam vidjela da joj je temperatura pala i odlucila sam da dijete odvedem da spava kod kuce. Tako da smo na kraju cekali 2h u hitnoj, nismo sreli niti vidjeli i jednog doktora ALI smo platili ”uslugu”. Ali svejedno, drago mi je da sam mogla otici kuci Adom.
Predesigned kid / Dizajnirano dijete
After ages of having the cold we finally headed off to Skövde. I love to travel by train and I think Ada loves it too. My luck is that Ada is a great kid for travelling. She is relaxed and sings a lot. She eats all good restaurant food and she is not picky about what food I bring when travelling. It is like a predesigned kid for travelling 🙂
Nakon toliko duge prehlade napokon smo krenule u Skövde. Volim putovati vozom, a mislim da i Ada to voli. Moja je sreca sto je Ada perfektno dijete za putovanja. Opustena je i voli pjevati. Jede skoro svu restoransku hranu a i voli svu hranu sto ponesem kad putujemo. Kao da sam je dizajnirala za putovanje 🙂
Ada Painting / Ada slika
A thing Ada loves to do is to paint. She spends some 15-20 min with it which is something like an eternity in her world. In the last picture one can see the ” a man” painted when reciting the story of cika glisa…She loves it and repeats it when I tell her 🙂
Ada voli slikati/ farbati vodenim bojama. I jednom kad sjedne sa bojama ona sjedi mirno nekih 15-20 min sto je jedna vjecnost u njezinom svijetu. U zadnjoj slici vidite “cika glisu”. Ada voli da joj ga crtam i recitujem dok ona ponavlja za mnom 🙂
Cika glisa
Tacka tacka tackica, (crtate oci i nos)
crta crta crtica, (crtate obrve usne)
gotova je glavica.
Usi culi, (crtate usi itd.)
Tanak vrat;
A stomak k´o crkveni sat,
Noge, ruke kao u misa,
Gotov je cika glisa 😀
Winterspielplatz
The morning we spent with Ada´s dear friend Kian and his mother. I have heard of it but now was the first time I went to the Winterspielplatz. We arrived around 10h and where among the last ones to be let in because they are getting full very fast. The staff is friendly, it is for free 😀 so I recommend this place if you do not mind having hundred screaming kids around you…The pics were taken when all the children went out.
Jutro smo proveli sa Adinim dragim prijateljem Kianom i njegovom mamom. Culi smo za ovo, ali pp prvi put smo bile u Winterspielplatz-u. Stigli smo poprilicno kasno, oko 10h i bili smo medju zadnjima koje su pustili da udju jer je vec puna sala bila. Osoblje je jako prijatno, dzabe je tako da vam preporucujem da dodjete ako vam ne smeta neki stotinu vristajuce djece. ..Slike sam uspijela uslikati kad su sva djeca izasla.
Swimming
I believe that the best thing to do with children is to go swimming. At least this is what Ada thinks. Surprisingly, I never went to West bad indoors despite it being the closest indoor swimming pool, and I was positively surprised. It is a fantastic place for children. Ada was swimming for 2hrs making her very very tired , she fell asleep at 18.30h (ok, she woke up at 00h but that´s another story). We even made a fantastic selfie (not) after swimming, but then she started crying and wanted to go home.
West bad pictures from here
Smatram da je najbolja stvar koju mozemo djecom raditi da odemo na bazen. To barem Ada smatra. Za divno cudo, iako nam je najblizi, nikada nisam otisla do West bad bazena. Bila sam pozitivno iznenadjena. Mjesto je san za djecu. Ada je dva sata plivala i naravno toliko se izmorila da je u 18.30h zaspala (ustala je doduse u 00h ali to je druga prica). Cak sam napravili fantastican selfie (ne bas) poslije kupanja, ali je tako postala kenkava da smo moral kuci.
Chilling in the library / Visenje u biblioteci
One of the dearest things when I was a child was to go to the library. There was this fountain/ pool with golden fish swimming around that fascinated me. There was also the cosy children´s corner with all the great books and favorite fairy tales. This positive feeling about libraries (and books) I want to project onto my daughter.
Said and done I brought my daughter to the library. I was, I admit a little bit surprised that they even have teddy bears around. Ada liked them very much 😀
Jedna od najljepsih stvari koje smo kao djeca radili su bili odlasci u biblioteku. Tamo je bila jedna fontana / bazencic gdje su zlatne ribice plivale i bile su mi, kao i svakom djetetu, tako fascinantne i lijepe. Bio je tamo i jedan udobni djeciji cosak sa svim mogucim knjigama i bajkama. Taj pozitivni osjecaj hocu da prenesem na Adu tako da smo nas dvije otisle zajedno u biblioteku. Ada je bila odusevljena, pogotovo medama koje, priznajem, nisam ocekivala u biblioteci 😀
DIY with children / Igra djecom
I saw this on the blog of kreativa karin, where also the picture are taken from… and I loved it. This is great for spending some time with children and it is cheap. Use some toilet rolls and some colors and let (childrens) imagination work. 
Ovo sam vidjela na blogu od kreativa karin, odakle sam i slike skinula. I ideja mi je preslatka. Super je ako hocete provesti par sati sa djecom, a i jeftino je. Znaci koristite toalet role, bojice i pustite mastu da radi.
Some days are just exhausting / Neki dani su jednostavno naporni
My daughter has lately come into some weird phase. She wakes up in the middle of the night, and wants to play. Then she sleeps until 9.30h and then again arount 16h and finally goes to bed at 23h!!! being drop dead tired. Sleeping at 23h one would think she will sleep long in the morning but nope. At 5.00h she wakes up full of energy. At 9.00h she is drop dead tired so she sleeps until 11h. Then she plays and falls asleep around 17.40h and wakes up at 21h. Please tell me it won´t last :/
Kcerka mi je usla u neku cudnu fazu. Budi se u sred noci i hoce da se igra. Onda zaspe i spava do 9.30h i ponovo zaspe oko 16h da bi u 23h legla za laku noc. Kad zaspe u 23h povjerovala bih da ce dugo spavati, ali se probudi u 5h puna energije. Do 9h. Tad crkne od umora pa odspava do 11h. I tako je danas izdrzala do 17.40h kad je pala maltene u nesvijest u krevet. Onda se opet u 21h probudi i igra…. Nek mi neko kaze da ovo nece trajati…