Today, I feel like this. / Danas se osjecam ovako…
Author: au
Happy 40th Birthday / Sretan 40.i rodjendan
I usually love birthdays. I love the feeling of finding out the gift I want to give and I love to see the happy face the person gets when he or she gets my gift. When thinking of it I actually love it more than getting a gift myself.
Imagine my frustration when I cannot come up with a gift to my husband(!!). For his 40th birthday!! I mean how can that be? He is not having any wish that I can catch up. He is not interested in trying some parachuting or diving. He is no fan of massage and saunas. He feels to tired for travels, but likes it when he arrives to the place. Books, he loves, but he didn´t even have time to read the ones he has. The only wish he has is to have a free weekend to sleep longer and afterwards to play with Ada…He will get it this weekend. But celebrating 40 years without a proper gift… not my style 😀
In any case Ada has prepared a gift for him ( I asked her what she wants to give her dad and she answered- “nose spray so he can stay healthy”!! Writing this post I also came up with a gift …but he´ll get it at Saturday 😀
Inace volim rodjendane. Volim onaj osjecaj dok trazim i razmisljam koji poklon dati i kad vidim sretno lice osobe kad dobije poklon. Kad malo razmislim vise volim dati poklone nego ih dobiti. Tako da zamislite moju frustraciju kad ne mogu muzu da nadjem poklon!! I to za njegov 40.i rodjendan!! Kako to moze biti tako? Svakome nadjem a njemu ne mogu. Nema nikakvih zelja na koje mogu dovezati. Ne zanimaju ga ekstremni sportovi da proba poput padobrana ili ronjenja. Ne voli saune ili masaze. Umoran je za putovanja, ali voli kad dodje na neko novo mjesto. Jedina zelja je da bude slobodan i da se naspava da bi poslije se mogao igrati sa Adom…To ce dobiti ovog vikenda. Ali slaviti 40.u bez pravog poklona…ne ide. U svakom slucaju je Ada pripremila poklon za njega…da bude zdrav. A i ja sam se sjetila dok sam ovo pisala. Ali njega ce dobiti tek u subotu 😀
Food (money) waste / Bacanje hrane (novca)
Today we did the death sin when it comes to buying food. We went to supermarket hungry and came out 150 (!?) euro poorer. We bought all possible things we “needed”. After coming home, we had to sort out all the things and put them where they belong. Then we noticed that we, unnecessarily, had bought tons of things that we already had but we had forgotten about it because they were put in such way that we could not see them. So to avoid wasting money on food we have decided following:
1. Try to finish up all the things we have in our kitchen
2. Now on we will make a list of things we need
3. We will buy ONLY these things that are written at this list
4. We will try to have two-three meat free days per week
5. We will reduce the food waste as much as possible
It all sounds so simple when writing down that it is really questionable why we are not following this rules per se…
Prevod slike: Najveci bacaci hrane u svijetu
Danas smo uradili smrtni grijeh ekonomije…otisli smo gladni u kupovinu. Izasli smo sa 150 (!?) eura manje u dzepu. Nakupovali smo svakakvih stvari sto nam ”trebaju”. Tek kad smo kuci dosli i poceli slagati ove “potrebne” stvari vidjeli smo da smo tonu stvari bez potrebe kupili. Imali smo ih vec kod kuce. Neke ne u jednom vec u vise pakovanja. Nismo znali jer smo ih tako stavili da ih nismo vidjeli. Odlucili smo od sada da izbjegavamo ovakve orgije kupovanje hrane (bacanja para) i probacemo uvesti par slijedecih stvari da bi uveli malo reda:
- Potrositi sto vise toga sto imamo u kuhinji
- Pisati listu stvari koje nam trebaju
- Kupicemo SAMO te stvari na listi
- Probacemo imati 2-3 jela bez mesa
- Probacemo smanjiti bacanje hrane sto vise mozemo
Kako to sve jednostavno zvuci kad se zapise, ne moze covjek povjerovati da se ne prati u realnom zivotu…
Day 1 / 1. dan
Today was Ada´s first day in kindergarten in Germany. I think she loved it because she refused to leave that early as we were supposed to. Of course for the day she wanted to be very chic and wanted to wear the dress she had for my brothers wedding. For a short moment I wanted to refuse to let her go in that dress, I remembered how I hated it when other people did it to their children. I believe it is better she uses the dress and feels pretty in it than that this cute dress hangs in the wardrobe for a “special” occasion. Special occasions are supposed to be happening every day. My husband didn´t understand it at all. He wanted to dress her “practically”. However, the girls won this time 😀 For the first day in “school” she also got a little gift to play with, she loved it…I regretted it when I saw the mess afterwards 😛
Danas je Adi bio prvi dan u vrticu u Njemackoj. Mislim da joj se pravo svidjelo jer nije htjela ici kuci tako rano kao sto smo se dogovorili. Naravno za pocetni dan je htjela da bude jako lijepa i htjela da nosi haljinu koju je nosila na svadbi mog brata. Prvo sam je htjela od toga nagovoriti, pa sam se sjetila kako sam to mrzila kad drugi rade djeci. Vjerujem da je bolje da koristi haljinu i da se osjeca lijepom nego da ta lijepa haljina visi u ormaru i ceka neku “posebnu” priliku. Posebne rilike trebaju da budu svaki dan. Moj muz to nije razumio, jer je hto da je prakticno obuce. Svejedno, ovaj put su cure pobijedile 😀 Naravno, za prvi dan u “skoji” dobila je i pokloncic. Njoj se pravo svidio, a ja kad sam vidjela rusvaj iza toga onda sam se pokajala za poklon 😛
Happiness is not a bag full of money / Nije sreca para puna vreca
I met a person in Bosnia bringing me to think. This person works as a medical doctor, earns 1500 KM per month (average salary is 838 KM), lives in Bosnia, has a car, a big house and so on.
This person works Mondays to Fridays, 7.30h -16h, but is not pleased with it so this person is moving to Germany. (I do understand people without employment do this). This person says – “there is no future for the children”. This person became a medical doctor, so I am not really sure of what kind of perspective it expects. I would be happy if my daughter becomes a medical doctor, no matter where in world it would be.
Now I am thinking about why a person having a normal fine life, close to family (which one cannot pay to be honest) wants to leave Bosnia and change to have the life of a medical doctor in Germany?
When I was working at one of the biggest clinics in Munich I saw that life that doctors where having.
They are working for days. They don´t get out from the clinic for days. Having families or not. Of course the salaries are better but also the costs are much higher. Working hours Monday to Friday to 15.30-16h are not heard of. Especially if you want to have a career in that profession.
Realistically that means that if a highly educated person, ready to invest so much time and energy in Germany, to MAYBE in 10 years get to the point where it is now in Bosnia, not to mention if it will EVER have the possibility to live in a house or a big apartment (at least if it works in bigger cities where there is some “perspective”) WHY is this person then not motivating itself to invest that amount of energy and time in its profession and politics to change things in its homeland? I can almost guarantee that it would have much more effect and impact for the future of their children than anywhere else. Or is it important to go to Germany because “everyone” goes there, even though it means downgrading of its personal, professional, familial and financial status? Can someone please explain this escape at any cost?
Srela sam jednu osobu u Bosni koja me dovela do razmisljanja. Radi kao doktor, zaradjuje 1500 KM mjesecno (prosjecna plata je 838 KM), zivi u Bosni, ima kucu, auto itd.
Radi od ponedjeljka do petka, od 7.30- 16h. Ali osoba nije zadovoljna hem se seli za “Dojcland” (razumijem one nezaposlene da idu). Kaze – “Nema tu perspektive za djecu” (osoba je postala doktor tako da ne znam o kakvoj perspektivi za djecu se prica onda. Sretna bih bila da moja kcerka postane doktor gdje god da bila).
Sad ja onako gledam i razmisljam zasto jedna osoba koja ima jedan regularan sasvim fin zivot medju svojim voljenima (koje, ako cemo pravo ne mozes platiti novcem) hoce da ide negdje van Bosne da bi zamijenila svoj zivot za jedan doktorski zivot u Njemackoj.
Kad sam radila u jednoj od najvecih klinika u Minhenu vidjela sam taj doktorski zivot.
Tamo se radi od jutra do sutra. Ne izlazi se danima iz klinike. Imali familiju ili ne. Ima se bolja plata, ali i kostanja su puno veca. Kao doktor da radi od ponedjeljka do petka do 15.30-16h je prosto necuveno. Barem ako hoces neku ”perspektivu” u toj profesiji.
Realno gledajuci to znaci da ako je jedna visoko skolovana osoba vec spremna da toliko vremena i energije ulozi u Njemacku da bi za nekih 10 godina MOZDA dostigla stepen koji ima sada u Bosni, a da ne pricam o tome hoce li IKADA imati mogucnost da zivi u kuci ili nekom vecem stanu (barem ako radi po malo vecim gradovima gdje postoji ta neka perspektiva) zasto se takva osoba onda ne motivise da istu tu energiju ulozi u svoje zanimanje, u politiku (bez toga ne moze) da promijeni nesto i garantujem da bi za 10 godina daleko vece uspijehe imala kod kuce i napravila bi daleko vecu perspektivu za svoju djecu nego sto ce ikada u Njemackoj ili negdje drugo. Ili je bitno otici u Njemacku jer svako ide tamo iako to znaci za degradiranje svog licnog profesionalnog, familijarnog i materijalnog statusa? Moze li mi neko objasniti ovu bjezaniju pod svaku cijenu?
End of vacation / Zavrsetak odmora
After almost 2.5 months travelling and visiting family Ensar came to Pag on Saturday morning to pick Ada and me up. We decided to leave directly in the evening, because half Europe is returning to their homes after vacations. On Monday Ensar is working so we didn’t want to stress back to manage to be back in time. Everything went fine until Karawanke tunnel. We literally sat there almost the whole night from 1.30h to 5.30h before we could come through the tunnel and then again we got stuck at the border. We were actually stuck in a traffic jam from Karawanke to Stuttgart. Starting around 20h on Saturday evening we arrived at 19h in Karlsruhe. We were so drop dead tired that I need another holiday again. Next time I will definitely check up the flights instead…
Before leaving we took a short walk in the city.
We left this… / Ostavili smo ovo… 
Nakon skoro 2.5 mjeseca putovanja i posjecivanja familije Ensar je dosao po Adu i mene na Pag. Odlucili smo krenuti za Njemacku isti dan da se ne bi trebali zuriti jer Ensar mora u ponedjeljak na posao. Sve je dobro proslo do Karavanke tunela. Tamo smo citavu noc morali cekati da ga prodjemo uopste, da bi nakon tunela opet stojali u redu na granici. U biti mi smo od Karavanki do Stuttgarta stojali konstantno u redu. Krenuli smo oko 20h a stigli smo tek u 19h slijedeci dan. Tako smo se izmorili od puta da nam treba novi odmor. Drugi put definitivno cu provjeriti letove…
Prije nego sto smo krenuli prosetali smo gradom.
and got this… / a dobili ovo…
Early morning / Rano jutro
This morning Ada woke up way too early. Yesterday we went to the city for an ice cream. Ada liked it so much that at 5.00h this morning it was time to go to the city again for an ice cream. Even if the morning was beautiful I just feel that it would have been more beautiful had I slept a little bit longer :p 
Ovog jutra se Ada prerano probudila. Sinoc smo otisle u grad na sladoled i Adi se to toliko svidjelo da je odlucila jutros u 5.00h da opet ide u grad na sladoled. Iako je jutro predivno vjerujem da bi jos ljepse bilo da sam se mogla naspavati 🙂
Almost killed / Skoro pa ubijena
The more he loves you the harder he hits you…That is the sick logic of women that have been mentally abused for years ending up with a husband hitting them whenever he feels for it. There is a feeling of power involved. For men but also for their wives. In some wicked way the woman gets to feel power when the husband is hitting her.
These kind of stories are usually stories I read in newspapers, so imagine my surprise when I heard that a childhood friend almost got beaten to death.
I wonder how many times her husband has been beating her up during all these years that they are together? Did he do it in front of the children? How did her family, a normal ordinary family, cope with it? What stopped her from leaving him? And so on…
I cannot imagine the fear she has towards him. How lost she must feel letting these things happen to her? Does she know that it is literally life threatening situation in cases like this?
Whom can you discuss these issues with? Do you call a friend and say “hi, can you help me with my husband because he is beating the hell out of me?”. What are you supposed to do as an outsider?
I read a little bit about it and all the things I read where so civilized. Too often ending up with a dead woman because the police could not do anything. Probably, statistically, that is the best procedure to handle this kind of psychos. But still I am suspect because my experience with people show that there is a sort of people that you cannot talk to. They just understand violence and listen to the stronger one. You simply do not have time to talk them to sense.
I just wish this whole story with my childhood friend ends up good…
Sto te vise voli, to te vise tuce…To je neka bolesna logika zena koje su godinama psihicki maltretirana da bi na kraju bile i fizicki maltretirane od strane muza. Kazu da je osjecaj moci upetljan. Za muzeve…ali i za zene. Na neki cudan nacin ona dobije osjecaj moci kad je muz tuce. Ove price su za mene price iz novina, tako da zamislite moje iznenadjenje kad sam cula da je moju jednu prijateljicu iz djetinstva covjek iztukao skoro do smrti.
Pitam se koliko je on nju puta tukao kroz ove sve godine koje je snjom? Da li je tukao pred djecom? Kako je njezina familija, jedna sasvim obicna normalna familija, reagovala na to? Zasto moja prijateljica nije ostavila svog muza? Itd.
Ne mogu da zamislim strah koji ima prema njemu. Koliko se mora izgubljena osjecati kad dopusta da joj se desavaju ove stvari? Zna li da se ovakvi slucajevi rade bukvalno o zivotu?
Skim mozes uopste ovakve stvari diskutovati? Nije bas da ces nazvati prijateljicu i reci joj ”slusaj, mozes li mi pomoci. Imam muza koji me tuce ko do mile volje? Sta uopste uraditi kad si outsajder?
Citala sam malo o ovoj temi, ali sva rjesenja su mi djelovala tako civilizovana. Precesto zavrse na tome da je covjek ubio zenu jer policija nije mogla nista uraditi. Mozda je ovaj civilizovani nacin najbolji i najsigurniji nacin. Medjutim ja licno vjerujem, zbog iskustva sa raznim vrstama ljudi, da ipak postoji jedna sorta ljudi sa kojima ne pomaze razgovarati. Oni jednostavno samo razumiju jacu silu.
Sve se nadam se da ce ovaj slucaj dobro proci i da ce se sve rijesiti…ali nisam bas sigurna…
Za zene u Bosni ima stranica na kojoj mozete informacije dobiti kako i sta uraditi u slucaju nasilja kod kuce
http://www.16dana.ba/kako-i-gdje-zatraziti-pomoc/
Greetings from Pag / Pozdrav sa Paga
Last week of the vacation before Ada starts the kindergarten I decided to come back to Pag so that Ada could spend the week with her grandmother and cousin. Until know we have great luck with the weather and Ada loves to swim around so I feel this was a good decision. Greetings from Pag! 
Zadnju sedmicu odmora prije nego sto Ada krene u vrtic smo odlucili provesti na Pagu sa Adinom i nanom rodicom. Imamo srece sa vremenom i uz to Ada obozava brckanje po moru tako da je ovo bila dobra odluka. Puno pozdrava sa Paga!
Siblings time / Vrijeme sa bratom i sestrom
These last ten days have been very intense and stressful. My grandmother died, my brother married, my father celebrated his 70th birthday and the funeral of my grandmother was today. On top of that I had a child that was really having a bad day and I think I am getting the cold. So I found it so really relaxing to take a walk with my sister and brother for the first time since we came to Balkan and just talk about things that one can discuss only with siblings. All this in one of the most beautiful places on earth.
Zadnjih deset dana su bili jako intenzivni. Majka (mamina mama) je umrla, brat se ozenio, tata je napunio punih 70. godina, a i dzenaza je danas bila. Na tom svemu mi je dijete bilo nervozno citav dan, a i mene izgleda prehlada sastavila. Tako da je bilo pravo opustajuci otici na setnju kroz Adice sa sestrom i bratom. I to prvi put otkad smo dosli na balkan da smo uspijeli odvojiti malo vremena da se samo nas troje sretnemo i diskutujemo stvari kako to samo mogu sestre i braca. I sve to na najljepsem mjestu na svijetu.