#Metoo

All these campaigns on Facebook kind of pass me ignoring it, because I find it toothless. Usually I find it irritating. I never really see any change after a campaign.
When the metoo campaign started I got surprised how big it turned out. I found it very good actually. I don’t believe there is a single woman I know that hasn’t been at least once put in an “awkward” situation by a man.
However, reading the paper about the poor prostitutes I got freaked out.  I mean horrors these women experience, in “peaceful” SWEDEN are so bad I cannot even grasp the horrors a human mind can come up with. I hope for their sake that this metoo campaign will have an impact on their lives but as with many other things I think unfortunately that the poorest and the most vulnerable people in our pyramid of society will never reach out to get or have a voice…
Reading how it all started I got sad, angry and horrified….Here the story of the first “metoo” move.

Sve ove kampanje na Facebooku većinom ignorišem, jer mi je to bezobzirno. Obično mi je to čak i iritantno. Nikada ne vidim promijene nakon neke kampanje.

Kada je započela #metoo kampanja, iznenadila sam se kako je postala velika. Smatram to dobrim. Ne vjerujem da postoji ijedna žena koju znam da nijednom nije došla u “neprijatnu” situaciju sa nekim momkom ili čovjekom.

Međutim, čitajući članak o siromašnim prostitutkama mene je presjeklo. Mislim užase koje ove žene doživljavaju, u “mirnoj” Švedskoj su toliko grozne da moj mozak ne može da shvati užase koji ljudski um može da izmisli.
Nadam se zbog toga da će ova metoo kampanja imati uticaj na ove živote, ali kao i mnoge druge stvari, mislim da će, nažalost, najsiromašniji i najugroženiji ljudi u našem društvu -djeca i žene, ostati bez glasa .. .

Čitajući kako je sve počelo, postala sam tužna, ljuta i užasnuta …. Evo priče o prvom “metoo” potezu.

Iz nekog razloga mi nece link da proradi pa sam kopirala tekst.
Since the link for some reason doesn’t work Ii copied the text.

The me too Movement™ started in the deepest, darkest place in my soul.

As a youth worker, dealing predominately with children of color, I had seen and heard my share of heartbreaking stories from broken homes to abusive or neglectful parents when I met Heaven. During an all girl bonding session at our youth camp, several of the girls in the room shared intimate stories about their lives. Some were the tales of normal teenage angst and others were quite painful.  Just as I had done so many times before, I sat and listened to the stories, and comforted the girls as needed. When it was over the adults advised the young women to reach out to us in the event that they needed to talk some more or needed something else – and then we went our separate ways.

The next day Heaven, who had been in the previous night’s session, asked to speak to me privately. Heaven was a sweet-faced little girl who kind of clung to me throughout the camp. However, her hyperactive and often anger-filled behavior betrayed both her name and light, high-pitched voice and I was frequently pulling her out of some type of situation. As she attempted to talk to me that day though the look in her eyes sent me in the other direction. She had a deep sadness and a yearning for confession that I read immediately and wanted no part of. Finally, later in the day she caught up with me and almost begged me to listen…and I reluctantly conceded.  For the next several minutes this child, Heaven, struggled to tell me about her “stepdaddy” or rather her mother’s boyfriend who was doing all sorts of monstrous things to her developing body…I was horrified by her words, the emotions welling inside of me ran the gamut, and I listened until I literally could not take it anymore…which turned out to be less than 5 minutes. Then, right in the middle of her sharing her pain with me, I cut her off and immediately directed her to another female counselor who could “help her better.”

I will never forget the look on her face.

I will never forget the look because I think about her all of the time. The shock of being rejected, the pain of opening a wound only to have it abruptly forced closed again – it was all on her face. And as much as I love children, as much as I cared about that child, I could not find the courage that she had found. I could not muster the energy to tell her that I understood, that I connected, that I could feel her pain. I couldn’t help her release her shame, or impress upon her that nothing that happened to her was her fault. I could not find the strength to say out loud the words that were ringing in my head over and over again as she tried to tell me what she had endured… I watched her walk away from me as she tried to recapture her secrets and tuck them back into their hiding place. I watched her put her mask back on and go back into the world like she was all alone and I couldn’t even bring myself to whisper…me too.

                                                                                                                                                                   – Tarana Burke

                                                                                                                                                                     Founder, Just Be Inc. 

                                  

Dream book / Knjiga snova

I found the book with the title “The monk who sold his Ferrari” that caught my eye because the title was a little bit unusual. It turns out that it is one of these positive motivational books that wants to inspire you to change your life in a positive way. I find much of the content is equivalent to the “eat that frog written by Brian Tracy, only it has more storytelling and more explanations.
One thing I remember was that when I was little I had something I called idea book but that was called a “dream book” in this book.
In this dream book one should write down the dreams you want and if more motivating make a collage of pictures of your dreams. For example if you want to travel to Bahamas then you put a picture of Bahamas.
It reminded me of  the moments when I was a child and we were painting the house we wanted, or things we wanted.  Funny that my house never was in a big city but rather in a rather green spot with flowers 🙂 Actually, it was a diamond house with a lot of garden around…
I like the idea of dream book and decided to dedicate a book for it…First thing I will do is to divided it in travels, spas and fun things I wanted to do that I have forgotten. Then there is a house , travels, bags and charity…and may your dreams come true 🙂
Knjiga “Kaludžer koji je prodao svog Ferarija” mi je uhvatila pogled jer mi je titula knjige
bila malo neobična. Ispostvilo se da je ovo jedna od onih pozitivno motivirajućih knjiga koje inspirišu da promijeniš način života na pozitivan način. Sadržaj je manje-više isti kao u knjizi «eat that frog» od brijana Tracy, samo što je ova knjiga više priča.
Jedna stvar koje se sjećam je kad sam bila dijete imala sam nešto poput knjigu mojih ideja. Ovdje oni to zovu “knjiga Snova“.
U toj knjizi sve svoje snove zapišeš i ako hoćeš da ti bude još više motivirajuće nacrtaš ili izrezeš slike iz novina i zalijepiš u knjizi. Naprimjer ako hoćeš na Bahame, staviš sliku od Bahama itd.
To me podsjetilo na momente kad sam bila dijete i kad sam crtala kuću koju hoću, ili stvari koje sam željela. Zanimljivo je da moja kuća nikad nije bila u gradu nekom nego je uvijek bila u zelenilu (vjerovatno selu) sa lijepim vrtom vani. Zaprave, moja kuća je bila od dijamanata i imala je lijep vrt sa puno cvijeća.
Sviđa mi se ideja sa knjigom Snova i izabrala sam jednu teku da bude moja buduća Knjiga Snova.
Prvo ću je podijeliti u putovanja, spa i smiješne stvari što hoću da uradim i doživim a koje sam zaboravila. A onda idu kuća, tašne i dobrotvorne svrhe…i…želim vam da se vaši snovi ostvare 🙂

“Duda” i par misli / “Duda” (pacifier) and a couple of thoughts

Danas je Adrian prvi put uspio reci Duda.
Inace nije bas pričljiv.Čak neće ni mama da kaže, samo ako je mnogo mnogo gladan. Tu su tata i Ada puno popularniji. Kad počne pričati dadadada, nisam sigurna da li zove tatu što je dadada, ili Adu što je adadada.
Uglavnom, je neki dan uspio da stoji par sekundi bez pomoći. I tako gledajući njega nešto mi pade na pamet.
Gledam Adrijana i vidim kako djeca nemaju nikakva očekivanja kako šta treba biti. Kao što je jedan prijatelj ispričao kako su imali problem na poslu za kojeg su svi znali da je nerješiv i zato se niko nije ni potrudio da ga riješi…dok nije novi došao u firmi i neznajući da je problem nerješiv …..riješi ga.
Ja to gledam ovako… dijete kad treba naučiti hodati ono uporno satima i satima vježba puže, pada, plače i kad se malo isplače  digne se kao da ništa nije bilo i uporno nastavi. Ponekad dođe mami i tati da dobije malo motivacije i sigurnost kad više nikako ne ide, ali vrlo brzo nastavi svojim upornim putem…
Roditelj milion puta kaže nemoj tu, pašćeš, udarićeš se , opržićeš se itd… da li ste IKAD vidjeli da malo dijete odraslu osobu posluša? I ne samo to zamislite se DA ga posluša…kad bi to dijete naučilo hodati? Sa 10 godina najvjerovatnije.
Da li ste ikad vidjeli onaj pravi istinski osmjeh djeteta koje je upravo skontalo da samo stoji? Ne može se platiti! Zato su djeca vjerovatno uvijek i vesela i to od srca vesela.
Zamisli da smo mi odrasli takvi?
Da  kad hoćemo nešto da postignemo satima “pužemo, hiljadu puta padamo, plaćemo i na kraju i uspijemo?
Da ne slušamo  ikoga, da ne tražimo podršku od ikoga i da “guramo” dok ne uspijemo.
Pitanje je zašto nisu odrasli takvi?  Postanemo lijeni, demotivisani, bez elana… ali ZAŠTO?
Ko nas “napravi” lijenim?
Je li to škola? Tamo strpaju djecu za klupu i satima predaju  nešto.
Da li su  to roditelji?  Komšije? Da li su to možda naši prijatelji?
Samim tim što se obično među onima što su otvorili firme kaže da je najgore slušati roditelje i prijatelje možemo shvatiti koliko je to ustvari bitno pitanje. A drugo bitno pitanje je kako to izbjeći?
Naravno sam(a) od sebe moraš početi …da li si ti ta osoba koja demotiviše ili motiviše svoju okolinu? I ako jesi kako i zašto si takva osoba…..Bilo bi to interesantno sa jednom pravom studijom taj fenomen istražiti…(možda i jeste, ali ne znam 🙂
Today, Adrian managed to say “Duda” (pacifier) for the first time. He is not as talkative as Ada. He doesn’t even want to say mama unless he is very very hungry. (Dad and Ada are much more popular in that case. When he says “dadadada” I am never sure if he calls Ada, adadada, or dad (tata, pappa) “dadadada”…)
A couple of days ago he even managed to stand alone for a couple of seconds. Looking at him I got struck by a thought.
Watching him I noticed how children don’t have any expectations of how things should be. As a friend told a story about a problem at his work. They had a problem that everyone knew was insolvable. Then there came a new guy that didn’t know this so he solved the “unsolvable” problem.
I see it like following… when the child learns to walk it practice for hours and hours. They crawl, they fall , they whine, after whining a little bit they just continue like nothing has happened.
If necessary, when it feels this is it,  the child comes to the mother or father gets a little bit comfort, maybe a little bit motivation and then it just continues to practice. The child just continues the hard ambitious way of practice.
Parents tell the children a million times don’t do this, you will hurt yourself, you’ll burn yourself, you will fall etc… BUT have you ever seen a child actually listen to the parent? If it would listen to us, the child would probably never learn to walk. Or it would be 10 years old.
Have you ever noticed a childs honest deep laught when it first realize that it actually stands by itself? It is priceless! Probably, they experience this for every developmental step they reach.
I guess, that is the reason why children always are happy.
Imagine that the grown ups where like this?
That when we really want to achieve something that we “ crawl, fall a thousand times, cry and in the end reach our goal…
Imagine that the grown ups didn’t listen to anyone, didn’t look for anyone to boost /support them and that we just continue the way we wanted until we reach our goal.
Would we be more happy?
I wonder why we give up our dreams? We become lazy, demotivated, deprived of energy…but  why?
What / who makes us lazy?
Is it the school? We put the children there to sit for hours.
Is it the parents? The neighbours? Our friends?
It is funny that when starting a new business it is said don’t listen to friends and family. So these questions are quite important and intresting.
A second question would be how do we avoid it?
Of course, like a child, one has to start with yourself..are you the person motivating or demotivating your environment? Why are you such a person?…
It would be interesting to read a real study of this phenomena..
Over and good bye!

 

 

 

 

Pepins crowdfunding

Pepins is a crowdfunding plattform that provides the possibility to invest in entrepreneurs and their companies that are off the stock market. I like the idea and the freedom it gives to people that want to fulfil their dreams .
When the investment opportunity came for Pepins itself I invested the minimum amount of 30 shares ( 540 kr) .
For interested the offer is still ongoing and there are over 960 investors that have invested over 70 million kronor.
This is my first time investing in a crowdfunding project and it will be fun to follow its development. 
Pepsin je jedna crowdfunding (grupno finansiranje) platforma koja daje mogućnost da investiraš u poduzetnike i njihove firme koje nisu na berzi. Sviđa mi se ideja i sloboda koju to daje ljudima koji hoće svoje snove da ispune. Kad je izašla mogućnost da investiram direktno u Pepins onda sam uložila najmanju svotu od 30 dionica (oko 100KM).
Za zainteresovane ponuda još vrijedi i do sad je oko 960 investitora uložilo preko 70 miliona kruna (oko 14 miliona KM).
Ovo mi je prvi put da investiram u jedan crowdfunding projekat i baš će biti interesantno pratiti razvoj ove firme.

 

David Garrett- Summer / Ljeto

Me and Ensar discussed what instrument we would like Ada to play. I said of course violin. He prefers drums. But how will someone play the most beautiful song ever on drums? ?  Maybe in combination with drums, but the violin beats the drums 😀
Here Summer part in Four seasons of Vivaldi played by David Garrett. Wonderful!

Ja i Ensar smo nešto diskutovali koji bi voljeli instrument da Ada svira. Ja sam naravno rekla violinu, a on preferira bubnjeve. Ali kako će neko na bubnjevima odsvirati najljepšu pjesmu ikad napisanu? Možda u kombinaciji sa bubnjevima ali violina ipak pobijedi 🙂
Evo Ljeto iz Četiri godišnja doba od Vivaldija svirana od David Garrett. Predivno!

One for Ensar!
I jedna za Ensara!!

Schwetzingen

Some time ago I spent a beautiful October day with Ada and my friend Lejla, her daughter Lena and Lejlas sister Merima with her family. It was the golden October day it said at the radio. We went to the castle in Schwetzingen. I never heard of it before but it is worth visiting. Schwetzingen  Palace was the summer residence of the Electors Palatine Charles III Philip and Charles IV Theodore (of the House of Wittelsbach).
The area around the castle is big and one can spend hours walking there. What surprised me the most though was the old mosque! It is not a place where I imagined a mosque. It is said that Charles III Philip and Charles Theodor where very open to other religions and by building the mosque they kind of paid respect to this religion.
As cynic as I am I am pretty sure that is just a made up story to make them “look nice”. Considering how kings where back then I tend to believe that they had at least one concubine or mistress that was a muslim and by building it they were being “nice”:)
In any case I find it to be a pretty building giving the whole area a little bit more fairy tale flair.

Prije nekog vremena sam provela jedan predivan, kako su rekli na radiju- zlatni oktobarski dan sa Adom i sa mojom prijateljicom Lejlom, njezinom kćerkom Lenom, Lejlinom sestrom Merimom i Meriminom familijom.
Sreli smo se u palači u Schwetzingenu, za kojeg nikad prije nisam čula. Schwetzingen palača je bila ljetna residencija kneza Karl III Filipa i Karla IV Teodora od kuće Wittelsbach.
Mjesto oko palače je ogromno i može se provesti nekoliko sati samo šetajući. I  pravo iznenadi džamija na koju smo naletili kad smo tako kroz park šetale. Nije baš da sam očekivala džamiju tu. Priča se da su oba Karla bili jako otvoreni prema drugim religijama i da su na taj način što su pravili džamiju pokazali respekt prema raznim religijama.
Cinična kakva jesam prilično sam sigurna da je to samo izmišljena priča da bi  oni ispali “fini”. Kakvi su u toj dobi kraljevi bili prije će biti da su imali neku ljubavnicu kojoj su se htjeli pokazati i tako napravili džamiju.
Bilo kako bilo arhitektura je prelijepa i daje čitavom području malo osjećaj kao da si u bajci.

Robert Friman International

This must have been the stock that I could have earned most money on among my stocks and where the psychology of human mind is so clear to see. For a while I was 180% plus. It looked good and I wanted more. So when the course started to go down I waited and waited thinking of it as just a period and it will get better again. I had the plan to keep them for 5 years.
But I didn’t!
Suddenly, there was a pm that there might be a problem with tax declaration. The stock dived from having been on + 30% or 40% of my invested money, I was suddenly -30% down. I was annoyed because it gives you a sour taste having been +180 and now being -30%.
I started to follow it more closely. It was pending a lot and suddenly one day it was again +25%on my account. I decided to sell it off, but my phone had a mental breakdown and refused to cooperate. From +25% the order came through and I sold it off for +5%. ( I sold them for 6.10kr) .
First I felt annoyed because I had missed the opportunity, but then I felt relieved… it is never fun to loose money. The reason is that I had said to my self that when a profit is so high as 180 % than it is better to take out the invested money + 10% and then the rest is used for playing around. Well, I didn’t listen to myself. I have to read more about market psychology.
But it is not the end of the story!
NO, I had forgotten about these stocks and wanted to see what happened in the with the tax declaration- The former Vice Director was sentenced 1.5 year prison for gross tax breach.
And people say stocks are boring…

Ovo je bila dionica na koju sam najviše mogla zaraditi od svih mojih dionica i gdje je toliko očigledno kako ljudski mozak funkcioniše. Jedno vrijeme sam bila čitavih 180% u plusu. Naravno pohlepa je tu bila i htjela sam još. Kad je kurs počeo padati čekala sam i mislila sam proće nakon nekog vremena. (Planirala sam ih 5 godina držati).
Međutim, nije pad stao!
Odjednom, dođe raport da može postojati problem sa deklaracijom poreza. Dionice su potonule od +30% -40% na investiranim novcem, i sad sam odjednom bila 30% u minusu. Bila sam iznervirana jer je kisel ukus biti od 180% u plusu na minus 30%.
Počela sam da pratim ove dionice i odjednom jednog dana skočiše na +25% na računu. Odlučila sam ih prodati, ali je moj telefon doživio nervni lom tako da je prestao raditi. Od 25% plusa je prodaja mojih dionica prošla na 5% plusa. (Prodala sam ih za 6.10kr) .
Prvo sam bila iznervirana što sam “samo” 5% zaradila, ali je poslije došao osjećaj reljefa (? mislim da se tako zove na našem).
Bila sam malo iznervirana zato što sam sebi x puta rekla kad je bilo na 180% plus da prodam ulog plus 10% i ostalo nek bude kako bude. Ali pohlepa je teška, uvijek hoće više, tako da nisam sama sebe slušala. Moraću više o psihologiji na berzi čitati.
Ali nije ovo kraj priče.
Kako sam prodala ove dionice, onda ih nisam neko vrijeme pratila i sjetim ih se pa rekoh da vidim šta se desilo sa poreznom deklaracijom. Bivši direktor je dobio 1.5 g zatvora zbog prevare porezom….
I ljudi kažu da su dionice dosadne…

 

My secret/ Moja tajna

Actually it is called “Min hemlighet” a story of Petter A. Stordalen. A selfmade billionaire writing a book of his experiences but also of his mentality. What is the difference of the way he is thinking in comparison to how ordinary people think. How is his time management? This and many more interesting things one can read in this interesting book.
One thing that caught me and reminded me of my sister was a situation where Petter has not enough money but still wants to buy a hotel. The money he has he should pay for the interests in the loan he has…but… he doesn’t pay the rate, instead he buys a hotel…for the money he doesn’t have. Hilarious and brave…
Zapravo se zove knjiga “Min hemlighet” (Moja tajna). Priča o Petter A. Stordalen. Jedan “samostvoreni” milijarder koji je napisao knjigu o svojim iskustvima i još interesantnije o njegovom mentalnom sklopu. Kakva je razlika u načinu razmišljanja njega i običnih ljudi? Kakav je njegov menadžment vremenom? To i još mnogo interesantnih stvari se može u ovoj knjizi pročitati.
Jedna situacija koja mi je pažnju privukla i koja me na sestru podsjetila je momenat kad Petter ima dovoljno novca da plati kreditnu ratu ali ne za hotel koji hoće da kupi. Ali ipak uspije na neki način kupiti hotel. Meni je to bilo preludo i hrabro.

My cloud / Moj oblak

The “new” trend with adding every possible information that one has in a cloud on a server somewhere reminds me somehow of having my own cloud in my head with hundreds of thoughts constantly crossing my mind and I have no time to sort them. Today is the first time since ages where I left both kids in kindergarten, even if Adrian is staying just 2hrs. Long enough not to sit around there but too short to go back home.

“Novi” trend gdje sve moguće informacije stavljaš u oblak na nekim serverima me podsjeća na moj oblak u glavi gdje skupljam na stotine misli bez ikakve šanse da ih sortiram. Danas je prvi dan na duugo vremena gdje sam ostavila oboje djece u jaslicama, iako je Adrian samo 2 h ostao. Dovoljno dugo da ne čekam tamo, dovoljno kratko da mi se ne isplati kući otići. 
Ada is in the “Frozen” -world… / Ada u svijetu “Frozen”

I, on the other hand, ended up in a XXXL möbeln. Strolling around there I realized how genious Ikea is when it comes to selling things and how bad XXXL is. I am sure I would increase the turnover in XXXL for at least 2-3% if I could put things as I want them to. Strolling around here made me also think of my stock investments and my wish to get stocks where sustainability is an issue. I am also thinking of a friend that I am not managing to get on phone for ages now. Adrian is also becoming 1 year soon. How could the year pass so fast? I met a friend that is always having tons of stories and with whom I can chat forever. I have hundreds of thing I want to do or experience but for now these have concentrated to one…sleep. Sleep depriviation with kids is a killer! And so on and so on. Still lucky me I got a really fun and interesting book from one of my best friends that I highly recommend. So in all “my cloud” at least I can enjoy a book for a couple of minutes 🙂
Tako sam ja završila u XXXL prodavnici namještaja. Kako sam tamo malo šetala skontala sam koliko su genijalni vlasnici od Ikea. Sigurna sam kad bih ja poredala stvari kako ja hoću u XXXL da bi im barem za 2-3 % obrt skočio. 
Tako isto, dok sam se šetala, sam razmišljala o svojim dionicama i moju želju da buduće investicije budu više usmjerene prema održivost. 
Razmišljam o jednoj prijateljici koju nikako da uhvatim na telefon. 
Adrian je uskoro godinu dana. Kako tako brzo prođe godina?
Srela sam prijateljicu s kojom uvijek mogu stotine stvari da razglabam i satima možemo da pričamo. 
Ima stotinu stvari koje bih htjela uraditi i doživiti koje su se sve svele na jednu… da se dobro naspavam. Manjak spavanja kad imaš djecu je baš ubitačan.
Itd.itd. 
Ipak kako imam sreće dobila sam jednu pravo smiješnu i zanimljivu knjigu od jedne od mojih najbolji prijateljica.  Knjigu “Bringing up Bebe” preporučujem za čitati. 
Tako da iako je “moj oblak” pun barem mogu par minuta da oćeifim dobrom knjigom. 🙂

First day in kindergarten / Prvi dan u jaslicama

For me, it was a big day today. My little boy went to kindergarten for the first time. It felt awkward because he is so little. Ada was 2,5 years when she started and was already speaking two languages. Adrian is not speaking any language and I fear that he will not be understood when he needs something. On the other hand he loves children so it should be fine 🙂
In kindergarten I react on the differences between the Swedish and German system. For example, here the induction takes 4-6 weeks! In Sweden it was a week at most (as far as I remember).
Another thing that caught my eyes is that in Sweden children eat some snack like half a banana or apple (or some other fruit) around 10h so that they don´t get too hungry until lunch. Here they got one mais curl as snack. Adrian doesn’t even like it so I am pretty sure that Adrian, that is used to eat much more, will loose some weight in the beginning before he gets used to it.
Danas je bio važan dan. Moj mali dječak je po prvi put išao u jaslice. Čudno se osjećalo jer je tako malen. Ada je ipak bila 2.5 godine kad je krenula i već je 2 jezika pričala dok Adrian ni jedan ne priča. Pitam se hoće li znati pokazati šta hoće,ali u drugu ruku voli djecu tako da bi mu trebalo biti fino.
U jaslicama sam primjetila neke razlike između Švedskog i Njemaćkog sistema. Recimo uškolavanje (ili kako se to zove) traje 4-6 sedmica. U Švedskoj ti niko živ ne bi išao u vrtić toliko vremena. Tamo je maksimalno sedmica- dvije (ako je ekstremni neki slučaj) i dijete odmah ostave same.
Druga velika razlika je da u Švedskoj jedu pola voća banane, jabuke ili nešto drugo oko 10h da ne pregladne do 12h. Ovdje dobiju jedan smoki, koji još na to Adrian baš i ne gotivi. Sigurna sam da će Adrian ispočetka smršati dok se ne uhoda.